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WARNING: Condoms Cause Depression
Is this true? Is this the wonderful excuse guys can use to convince their girlfriends to go bareback?
Let's face it. Humans weren't evolved to have a thin film of rubber encased around their penises. Heck, men were born to have foreskins and the foreskin acts like a stimulating turtleneck that evelope and recede, rubbing the glands of the penis with sweet lubrication during each mind blowing thrust.
However, for the sake of cleaniness (because I guess guke can gather inside the turtleneck) and because of religious practices with vague, archaic meaning, the ever-loving slab of skin is scissored off.
It seems that thousands of years after this esoteric practice of genital mutilation is imposed on newborn males, we know put an artifical skin around our fireman.
But what if there is some indication that such an act is in violation of human physiology and that the grand creator did not intend us to put on that rubber during intercourse.
A study conducted by Gordon G. Gallup Jr. PHD and published in "Archives of Sexual Behavior," indicates that semen has anti-depressive properties for women. In questioning college students, he found that women having sex without condoms were less depressed based on scores on the Beck Depression Inventory (I guess it's some test or questionaire that guesses how depressed you are, idiots). Condom use is an indirect indicator of presence of semen in the reproductive tract.
The study also indicates that once a female has sex without a condom, depression scores slowly changes from good, getting worse as more time elapses until her next condom-less sexual encounter.
So as you can see, semen is like a drug, baby. Once girls get it inside of them, they crave more of it.
Wild fantasies of the mental healing properties of semen can come up. A young, virile (and extremely horny fellow) can offer his service at some depression clinic to alleviate the sadness of some young fine female.
OF COURSE, both the depressed young thing and the guy must be tested for HIV first, because catching that can make you REALLY depressed. And the chick must be on the pill, because no one likes child support.
This study is real. Guys can show this to their girlfriends. Consider it a humantarian cause that men should take up. Semen now has become the new prozac for women.
Gallup, G.G. Jr., Burch, R.L., & Platek, S.M. (2002). Does semen have antidepressant properties? Archives of Sexual Behavior. (31) 3, p. 289
