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The Official Hitting On Women Guide
Submitted By Jason Patrick
How To Get Girls On The Night On The Town
1. Get a thick skin. Even professional baseball players fail 7 out of 10 times when they come to the plate. If you get a number one time out of ten times you strike up a conversation, you’re doing well.
2. Keep trying. The more you try, the better you will get, the thicker your skin will become and, statistically, the more likely you will succeed. As they say in hockey, 100% of the shots that aren’t taken don’t go in. If you’ve struck up a conversation with a hundred women, it won’t be such a big deal to strike up a conversation with the woman of your dreams.
3. Don’t take rejection personally. You don’t like all women, it’s unrealistic to expect all women to like you. See rule no. 1.
4. Women know that it takes guts to approach them. If a woman cuts you down mercilessly then it’s because there’s something wrong with her and not because there’s something wrong with you. A woman who is rude isn’t worth knowing, so consider yourself lucky that you found out early.
5. Have reasonable expectations of what is going to happen when you’re out on the town. Even if she likes you, she probably isn’t going to go home with you. Consider it a success when you’ve had a reasonable conversational interaction with a woman you’ve never seen in your life before. Consider it a bonus if you get a phone number. Go out with the goal of having fun and to have some low key interactions with women you don’t know. If you go out expecting to get laid or meet and make the woman of your dreams fall in love with you, you’re going to be disappointed.
6. Start with small steps in the development of your skills, and practice them. Tell yourself you’re going to say hello and speak to a strange woman for five minutes, and then move on. Talk to women everywhere - in line at the movies, at the bank, at the produce stand at the grocery store, the cutie buying a drink next to you at the bar, everywhere. Even if it’s just “hi” and “nice weather, isn’t it?” Even Barry Bonds started in the minor leagues.
7. Don’t use a pickup line. Ever. And that includes “So, do you come here often?” Just say hi and make a relevant comment. “What movie are you seeing tonight? Are you a big fan of the band? Did you watch XYZ last night? Seen any good movies lately?”
8. Don’t tell her up front how hot/sexy/beautiful she is. Women love hearing that, but only when she knows you better. If you act star-struck she’s going to think that you’re batting out of your league. If you create the impression that talking to her is no big deal, it’ll make you look confident.
9. Don’t talk about yourself. Many guys think that talking to a woman is a sales pitch and they are the product being sold. Huge mistake. She’ll think you’re a self-centered bore. Also, if you volunteer nothing about yourself and she starts asking questions about you, that is a great sign that you’re doing well.
10. Start off talking about non-threatening things, like movies, music, tv, current events, etc. Be prepared with a number of topics before you make contact. If you have no idea what you’re going to say after “hi,” chances are you will bomb. Definitely don’t talk about computer games, professional sports, cars, action movies, Dungeons and Dragons, numerology, or any other geeky or men-only topics. It doesn’t matter how big a part of your life it is, just don’t. This is one of those times when “being yourself” is not a good idea.
11. Ultimately you need to get her talking about herself and her life (this is critical), but don’t start off interrogating her. She is initially going to be suspicious of you and your motives, and your first goal is to reassure her that you’re not a creep or a stalker. See rules 9 and 10 and after spending some time on non-threatening topics, start asking some questions about her.
12. If things aren’t going well, say “It was nice meeting you, maybe I’ll see you later” and move on. This way you are the one who has ended the conversation and it will also show that you’re perceptive. Don’t be rude if she doesn’t want to speak to you, it only makes you look bad. Who knows, maybe she’s got a cute friend. See rules 1 to 3.
13. Don’t look at her boobs, no matter how tight or low cut her top is. Boobs are a test and if she catches you looking, you fail. You might get away with it if she catches you taking a quick peek once, but if you stare at them while you’re speaking to her then you’re dead in the water.
14. Don’t buy her drinks. If you do, you will never know if she’s letting you hang around to keep buying the drinks or if she actually wants to speak to you. Let her buy her own drinks, or say “I’ll get this round, you get the next one.” It’ll show you’re not a sucker.
15. Be positive. Don’t say negative things generally, and definitely don’t say negative things about women, marriage, having children, or your exes. Misogynists never get the girl.
16. Don’t talk about sex or tell dirty jokes. Women are suspicious that men are only after them for one thing, and if you bring that thing up too soon, it will only confirm their suspicions. Don’t swear either.
17. Women like a little mystery and uncertainty when meeting a man. Don’t be a sure thing. Definitely don’t declare your undying devotion when you first meet her. If you’re flopping in the boat as soon as the hook is in your mouth, where’s the fun in that? Also see rule 9.
18. Don’t show her that you’re nervous, intimidated, or think that she’s out of your league. Your goal is to create the perception that you’re confident. Women love confidence, and perception is more important than the reality. Even if your palms are sweating, your heart is pounding and your mouth is dry, create the perception of confidence by smiling, having some prepared conversation, and pretending that talking to her is no big deal.
19. Be respectful but not deferential. Women want a man with a spine. “Good guys” often “finish last” because they’re being deferential. A woman wants a man, not a doormat. It’s good to disagree with her, tease her a little, show her you’re not taking her or the situation too seriously. Don’t be afraid of saying the wrong thing. You’ll be surprised at how women don’t bat an eyelid at a statement or question you think is bold or outrageous. But don’t break rule 16.
20. If she smiles at you or holds eye contact from across the room, it’s a sign that it’s OK to talk to her. It doesn’t mean she wants to go home with you or wants to be the mother of your children, just that it’s OK to introduce yourself. If you get either of these signs, get over there soon. If you sit for too long smiling at her across the room, she’ll think you don’t have the cojones to come and talk to her and she’ll lose interest. If she looks at you, drops her eyes for a second, and then looks back up at you, get your ass over there immediately.
21. Don’t monopolize her unless it’s going really well. Talk to her friends and to other people in the area. Show her that you have some social skills, even if you have to fake them. Don’t be possessive of her - she’ll think you’re a stalker.
22. If it’s very likely that you’re going to bump into her again then don’t ask her out or even ask for her number. Do it next time. She’ll be impressed that you weren’t coming on strong the first time. See rule 17.
23. Don’t come on strong. Keep it light and fun. If you come on strong she’ll think that all you want to do is sleep with her.
24. Look as good as you can. If you dress well and are groomed and hygienic, it will undoubtedly improve your chances. Cut and clean your fingernails and polish your shoes. Buy some stylish clothes. Women notice these things. The slob never gets the girl. If you’re not within 5% of your high school graduation weight, you need to lose weight. If the idea of being within 5% of your high school weight makes you laugh out loud, you really need to lose weight.
25. Don’t call her the day after getting her number. Wait a day and if you get her voicemail, hang up and try again later. But if she has given you her cell number, don’t hang up because your number will appear on her missed call list and maybe she didn’t answer because she didn’t recognize your number. Only ever leave one message. If she doesn’t get back to you within a week and you really like her, call her again. If she doesn’t get back to you after that, write it off. Whatever you do, don’t leave a series of more and more desperate voicemails. That never works.
26. Conversation is a two way street. She also has to hold up her end of the deal. Don’t blame yourself if the conversation fades out despite your best efforts. You might not be right for each other, or maybe she’s not very talkative, or maybe she’s got a bad headache.
27. Bars and clubs are generally not the best place to meet women. You have alcohol on your side but she will have her shields up, it’ll be noisy, there will be lots of competition and pressure, and she’ll probably be in a group of people, making her more difficult to approach. Find some activity that provides a common, non-threatening topic of conversation. Join a bicycle club or the Sierra Club or a mixed softball league or volunteer or go to a wine tasting. It’s so much easier to to meet someone when you can say “So what did you think of the Riesling/the climb up Mt. Hamilton/the oil spill cleanup efforts.”
28. Look for conversation starters. If she’s carrying a book, ask what she’s reading and how she likes it. If she’s wearing interesting earrings, ask about them. If she’s got a dog, go over and pat the dog. If she’s wearing a beret, tell her you always wanted to go and visit France.
29. It’s OK if the initial conversation seems mundane. That’s why they call it breaking the ice. It’ll get better after a couple of dates when you have some history. She knows this too.
30. If you remember nothing else, remember rule 9. Of course, if she asks you a question about yourself, answer it in some detail to keep the conversation going. But if you find yourself going on for more than five minutes, stop and turn the conversation back her way. Silence is better than droning on for half an hour about how you scored that touchdown in junior high.
